"North Korea nukes USA." You think that would never happen? Well luckily president Geena Davis saved that from happening the other day. The common belief is that the peninsula does have nuclear weapons and that the country's dictatorship is so arrogant and pig-headed that it would not hestitate to use such things if it felt pissed-off on any given day. So when a U.S. spy submarine was stranded in the country's waters, the only way to rescue its crew and destroy its technology and avoid a war was to engage in deal making with China to assist in the rescue and ultimately offering to pay North Korea $500m and issue a formal apology.

Luckily, President Davis never listened to the commander of the armed forces, Cmdr. Steve Lamoree who suggested that we surround their country with ships and then make a preemptive strike on the country. Oh, I guess that would stop them from pressing their red button. Or to her chief strategist, Sen. Miles Smith (D-Atwater Village) who asked if we should attack since they had WMDs said "yeah, but no, but yeah, but no....". The speaker of the house, Sen. Barabara Romero had to make a deal to buy shoes from China in exchange for weapons to clinch the president's rescue operation. The White House press secretary, Mr. Carl White, tactfully kept the press at bay by reciting poems and reminding everone that there are good Koreans too.

Why oh why do we pay taxes? As Edina said, "why don't we just tax the stupid people?".

I don't think anyone would disagree with me when I say that the current system of taxation is a piece of garbage which nobody wants to fix because those who can fix it are too shit scared to overhaul it but instead like to fiddle while Rome burns. The fact that the government likes to play with silly rates in capital gains taxes when 80% of these taxes are paid by individuals earning under $100K a year is ludicrous.

My income is probably within the top 5% of U.S. taxpayers. I decided to look again at my taxes from last year and I paid an effective federal tax rate of a approximately 18% (because I have nice big deductions for mortgage interest and state and property taxes). Without my deductions I would be paying closer to 30% in federal taxes (over $320K the top tax rate is currenlty 35%). This is all because own a home and I pay state taxes. So I win. The guy renting a home in Texas pays the IRS almost twice as me.

So let's tax the stupid people instead. Let's tax on people's spending. I have noticed that I spend all of my disposable income on beer and cigarettes. So I would be taxed on all my earnings (except what I put away in my 401k), which is fine. The rich with their expensive homes and yachts would pay a fortune for their excesses and those stupid middle-class people who spend more than they can afford (on credit cards) would pay more taxes for being stupid and going into debt.

So why don't the government introduce a simple consumption tax and abandon the IRS as we know it? Because they pander to the idiot voters who think that somehow they will pay more and not get their nice deductions. They might want to take a leaf out of the small caribbean economies that have no income taxes, only consumption taxes, like the Caymans and the Bahamas and yet provide universal health care and education. The government should not be in the business of deciding which vested interests they should support- home ownership, dependents, charitable deductions etc. - and stop tweaking ridiculous tax rates which are nothing more than poltical maneuvering. Consumption taxes will also take away this gesturing tactic and force them to maybe, oh i dunno, limit spending, stop invading sovereign nations, reduce the deficit....But that's just my thoughts.

Is this thing on? I wonder how many swear words I can use before I get censored or links to Al Qaeda sites I can provide before the CIA show up at my door. Oh no, I forget, I am in the USA and protected by all its freedoms. Hmmmm. Well let's take a look at those for a minute, well at least the interesting amendments to the constitution:

Amendment #:

1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression - Unless it 'undermines' the government of the day.
2 - Right to bear arms - Sure, you can carry a lethal weapon, but thank god gays can't marry.
4 - Search and seizure - Big brother is NOT watching you...Just monitoring your calls & emails.
8 - Cruel and unusual punishment - Only applicable on U.S. soil, otherwise shock the bastards.
18- Liquor abolished - Thank god they didn't anticipate gay rights back then or they would have outlawed those and for sure those would never have been repealed.

Let's not forget the Full Faith and Credit clause - Not applicable to Massachusetts gay marriage.