Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Associated Press: 'Royal gay couple to tie the knot in California'
As county clerks across California scrambled to dish out marriage licenses to a parade of prancing homos across the state, shocking news surfaced of the announcement from Dublin Palace of the engagement of the Irish Queen to the Duchess of Atwater Village. "I always suspected that they were cocksuckers" said an anonymous source close to the family of the bride-to-be "or my name isn't Paula White".
The couple are rumored to be holding their sodomite nuptuals at the Witham palace in the duchy of Silver Lake, a private estate frequented by the two queers where they have probably engaged regularly in fornication. When asked for a statement, the queen's lady-in-patiently-waiting, Mme. Macleod said "why the buggery bollocks would I give you a statement, you would only twist my words for your shitty rag of a newspaper anyway. Where's my Heineken.....?"
The pope was not amused at the palace announcement and immediately rhetorted "they are now a greater threat than Iran. God will surely punish them for their acts as if it wasn't bad enough that we have to listen to Barbara fucking Striesand...."
Excited at the pending lavish and extravagant party to be thrown to celebrate the threat to our nation's stability, Countess Romero of Echo-le-Parc told the Beverly Hills press "Ooh la la, mon Dieu, c'est tres bon n' est-ce-pas?" She was then rumored to have spent $10 million on a shopping spree for a new handbag and shoes for the event.
Princess Stephanie Lamoree was more pragmatic in her response indicating that "her highness queen White is definitely Party A and HRH Crakow is Party B. If anyone disagrees with me they are wrong I am right."
A study issued last week by some stupid idiots who conduct ridiculous surveys that are only completed by bored housewives indicated that 1% of respondents oppose not outlawing not-marriage to not-gay people. The remaining 99% did not believe in surveys. A measure is now on the ballot for November to require all gay couples who are getting married to buy everyone else a drink for having to smile while watching the happy pansies sashay their faggot asses while clicking their fingers to some Liza Minelli song and talk about their happiness blah...blah...blah...
P.S. Congratulations Carl & Miles!


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